You might be a chemical engineer if:
- You have a favourite pump manufacturer
- You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
- You can size distillation columns in your head, but need a pencil and paper to figure the tip on a $45 restaurant bill...
- ...and think that spending $45 for dinner is exorbitant
- You see a good design and still have to change it
- You can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
- You know who invented Jell-O
- The microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it
- You've modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
- You think "cuddling" is simply an unproductive application of heat exchange
- You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator
- You've ever described your spouse in terms of MTBF
- You stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
- You can name 6 Star Trek episodes
- You've ever considered installing a scrubber on your chimney
- The only jokes you receive are through e-mail
- Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
- You automatically associate the words "sexy," "beautiful" and "new butterfly valve"
- You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
- You've used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
- Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
- You have any of the following personalised items:
- Hard hat
- Safety goggles
- Calculator case
- Slide rule
- You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
- You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
- You know the direction the water swirls when you flush
- You've ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
- A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
- You thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid
- You cannot write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines
- You think the value of a book is directly proportionate to the amount of tables, charts and graphs it contains
- You once burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
- You think you look rather snappy in a tie and short-sleeve shirt
- You'd really like to have a T-shirt that says "Chemical Engineers Do It In Fluidised Beds"
- You've ever introduced your kids by the wrong name
- You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
- People hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time
- You think that when people around you yawn, its because they didn't get enough sleep
- Your spouse hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
- Your three-year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
- You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically
- You've explained your position in the company to a junior engineer as "I am a vast oasis of knowledge in a desert of ignorance".
- You lost your wedding ring for six months and found it in a box of brass tubing fittings in your desk
- You and a buddy spend two work days customizing each engineer's phone ring so that you can tell them apart from anywhere-using cut-up lids from snuff cans and scotch tape.
- You refer to your children as your "pilot units".
- Your work clothes are almost as old as you are....
- ... and so is your car.
- You think of the Carnot cycle everytime you turn on your AC unit.
- When you look at objects in the distance and think of mean free path.
- You explain surface tension to your 10 year old when they ask why you are adding oil to boiling spaghetti.
- You have a clock with inverted numbers that runs counter-clockwise in your office and you prefer it that way.
- You make your own shampoo!
- You pick your girlfriends by their gpa.
- You refer to your wife as my.spouse@home.com
- You have ever thought about how coffee changes colour in the body.
- You read this page for the first time on a Saturday night.
- You try to explain entropy to strangers at your table during casual dinner conversation.
You KNOW you are a chemical engineer if you've actually read this whole damn message beginning to end!!!!
